And that reality has hit me like a brick in the head since I'm back. With the kids in school and hubby at work it seems like I can't stop crying. There's this knot in my stomach that doesn't go away, and a heaviness in my heart that seems to have settled there and makes it so much harder to cope with everyday life.
I remember when my father died 9 years ago, I was having such a hard time dealing with it, and after the funeral my sister and I were standing outside and all of a sudden there was this beautiful rainbow in the sky, and it really felt like a message from him to us that everything would be all right, and that he was at peace. It made us laugh and cry at the same time.
The day I got that horrible phonecall from Belgium that my sister had died, we went for a walk in the evening to try and clear our heads, and I was looking up to the sky, wondering where she was and searching for a sign. But there was nothing. And then the morning my hubby and kids brought me to the airport to take the plane to Belgium, a rainbow suddenly started and then filled the whole sky, and stayed with us all the way to the airport. So beautiful, so heart-wrenching, so comforting all at the same time. It was as if she remembered that day of my father's funeral and wanted to let me know that again, everything will be all right and life will one day be good again.
I'll just have to hold on to that feeling ...
I'll promote my last Etsyshop next week, I'm not really up to it right now. I just want to share a doodle I made while travelling the long long distance from Australia to Belgium.
And this image of Adam Martinakis, that I found on Facebook the other day and expresses so perfectly my feelings of loss, hurt, helplessness and grief.
Don't know where
don't know when
but I'm sure
we'll meet again
some sunny day
Thanks for being here ♥ ♥ ♥